07/06 The Morning JOE

Shoddy practices, shocking animal attacks and security concerns in South Africa – all in Bank Holiday Monday’s Morning JOE.

The Front Pages

“ Hundreds of court, Garda interpreters have no qualification” – Irish Times

“Half opt for ‘no record’ Dail, Senate expenses” – Irish Independent

“Over 800 patients in ‘outdated’ psychiatric facilities” – Irish Examiner

The lead in the Irish Times outlines the sometimes shoddy standards at work in translation and interpreting services employed by the Court Service and the Garda.

Kate Waterhouse, currently studying for her PhD candidate in social work and social policy at Trinity College Dublin, is conducting research on the level of service provided for people with limited or no English by the justice service.

She told the paper, “I was shocked at the way interpreting was taking place in many cases. It was clear in some cases that nothing was being interpreted.”

The courts have spent €10m on translation and interpreting services over the past three years, apparently. Nice work if you can get it, particularly as you might not have to possess the brain cells necessary to explain the word ‘ambiguity’, as two Polish interpreters failed to do in October 2007. It’s a tough one, though, is ambiguity.

Meanwhile, the Irish Examiner goes with some Freedom of Information, er, information. Nineteen psychiatric hospitals were described as “outmoded, outdated and grossly unsuitable” in a 2008 report; advanced closure plans for 13 of those were pledged by John Moloney, the Minister for Mental Health, last January; but just six of those have anything down in writing, with a significant level of expenditure required before any of the institutions can be shut down.

In the interim, 800 patients remain housed in “grossly unsuitable” conditions, including eight who have been held in one secure unit for more than ten years.

There’s a hint of more shoddy behaviour in the Irish Independent, which reveals that half of TDs and senators have opted for lower, flat-rate expenses. The benefit? No need for expenses and no threat of being audited.

Surely every cent of public money spent by the thieves in public office should be accounted for? No amount of resignations are good enough. It’s time for the lot of them to go. An overhaul on a root-branch-trunk-leaf-and-bud basis is required if the public is ever to have faith in their public servants again.

Tales From The Tabs

The one that really catches our eye today is the report in The Sun about Rosie Huntington-Whiteley (now there’s a name and a half). Rosie is starring in the third Transformers move where she replaces Megan Fox. And, they tell us, she’s just received a major spike in the profile stakes after filming an ad which has gone viral on the web.

It’s a “bondage-themed undies promo”, says The Sun, so we just had to have a look.

And there’s a sniff of celebrity romance in the air. But no more than a sniff, apparently. Alexandra Burke, of X-Factor fame, and Australia cricketer Michael Clarke apparently “hit it off” at a backstage show recently. But wait – they failed to swap numbers, apparently. Good God, these guys would print anything.

In the Mirror, there’s the shocking story that twin girls are in a “serious but stable condition” in hospital – having been savaged by a fox which crept into their east London home.

The report goes on to claim that “fox attacks are rare” but do happen, with 14-week-old Louis Day needing hospital treatment in 2002 having been attacked while sleeping on a sofa beside an open patio door in Dartford, Kent.

The Sports Pages

“Colourful caravan is headed to Cork”, reads the headline in the Irish Times, beneath which Tom Humphries is his usual self. “For the fifth time in their last six meetings in Killarney, the sides drew,” he wrote. “A large Cork following spent money foolishly about the town. The great caravan moves back to Cork next Sunday for the replay. The deciding of the All-Ireland can wait till August. It’s their world – we just live in it.”

The Times also includes reports into Graeme McDowell’s impressive victory at Celtic Manor, the venue of this year’s Ryder Cup, and Rafael Nadal’s impressive victory in the French Open final at Roland Garros, when he extended his record to five wins in six tournaments. He’s lost just one match at Roland Garros, to Robin Soderling in last year’s tournament, and that defeat was avenged in style against the Swede yesterday.

The Examiner includes an investigation into events in Tembisa, Johannesburg, where “thousands of soccer fans stampeded” before a friendly international between Nigeria and North Korea, who were putting the finishing touches on their preparations for World Cup finals, which start in South Africa on Friday.

FIFA has tried to absolve itself from any culpability by declaring that it had nothing to do with the friendly, but the incident – after which 16 people, including two police officers, required hospital treatment – is sure to heighten security concerns ahead of the tournament.

Back to GAA, and the Independent’s Vincent Hogan is effusive in his praise for Louth’s performance against Kildare on Saturday evening. A 1-22 to 1-16 win over Kildare left Louth just one win away from a first Leinster final in 53 years. That was a time, said Hogan, when “Arnold Palmer was the hottest thing in golf; Jack Brabham likewise in motorsport. Rod Laver had yet to win a Wimbledon final.”

There are famines, it seems, and there are Louth famines.

Also in the Indo, columnist Eugene McGee is critical of Cork’s failure to put away Kerry in Killarney. The Rebels led by four points with quarter of an hour remaining and missed two clear goal chances to put the game to bed, allowing Kerry to fight back and claim a draw.

“So what’s new?” asks McGee. “How many times in recent years have we watched the Cork footballers dominate games against Kerry and still fail to win?”

Switching to rugby, and David Kelly feels we’re on the cusp of a vital period in the history of the game here. “Irish rugby is at an economic and sporting crossroads,” he writes. “How well it manages this transition will indicate how well prepared it is to absorb the initial shock and then thrive in the future.”

He continues, somewhat alarmingly, “Some of the Irish players based in Limerick this past week, who were preparing for the summer tour, were still unsure whether individual match fees or a flat touring fee applied for the three-Test Antipodean trek.” This, on the back of revelations that some of the IRFU’s older or less established players have been offered greatly reduced playing contracts. All is not well, it seems.