Today we’re feeling… optimistic.
We’ve just heard that Cheryl Cole has filed for divorce from her philandering husband Ashley. This is good news. Now, realistically, it would take a super-human effort for one of us to find our way into the Girl’s Aloud star’s knickers. That said, the chances of that happening have still increased now that she’s back on the market. Now what we need, is a plan.
First off, we need to wrangle a press invite to an event, concert or photo shoot she is due to appear at. Then, all we need is a bottle of chloroform, a rag, some cable ties, a van with the licence plates removed and a remote, sound-proofed cottage!*
*The above is a joke. No member of the JOE.ie team is planning the kidnapping of Cheryl Cole or any of other attractive female celebrities.
