Stephen Ireland, Paddy Kenny and Paul Green all feature in a Sunday speculation summary that is sillier than usual, even by the rumour mill’s ludicrous standards.
Whether they think they’ll get away with because readers mightn’t be as tuned in as they normally are on a Sunday, the papers seem to be climbing over one another in an effort to bring the most sensational yet equally ludicrous gossip to the masses this morning.
The one that caught our eye was the suggestion that Spurs may be willing to swap string-puller and best player Luka Modric for the man who still resembles Fernando Torres in a physical sense, but who has lost all of the ability that once made him one of the most feared strikers on the continent.
‘Arry has suggested that no amount of bees and honey could persuade the Spuds to part with the diminutive Croatian, although he was willing to admit that there is a possibility that Marseille attacker Loic Remy could be coming to North London.
Redknapp says that it is unlikely to happen just yet but we’re not falling for that one. Just wait until the Sky Sports presenter gets him to wind down his window at 11pm on deadline day and ‘Arry springs the ‘surprise’ that they got Remy in at the very last second. Loves a last minute deal does Harry, almost as much as his son loves tight-fitting trousers.
Three clubs are in for Paul Green. No, really, we’re not joking.
A couple of days back we mentioned that a few clubs were sniffing round Anthony Stokes’ partner in crime at Celtic, Gary Hooper, but Neil Lennon is so determined to keep the Hooperman that he’s slapped a £35 million price tag on his head, despite the fact that Championship side Southampton were leading the chase for his signature. We know that Andy Carroll has raised the bar in terms or ridiculous transfer fees, but surely this is taking things a step too far.
Speaking of the lanky left-footer, there are further claims today that he could be sent on his way to Aston Villa, with Darren Bent or possibly Fernando Llorente, a Spaniard who’s just as tall but infinitely more talented than Carroll, arriving in his stead.
Yesterday, we lamented the lack of Irish-related transfer stories doing the rounds, but there’s no end of them flying around today, with QPR the centre of attention once again.
Looks like bad news for Paddy Kenny, who could be offloaded as Mark Hughes sets his sights on ex-Man United ‘keeper Ben Foster, but potentially good news for Stephen Ireland, who has proved the whole ‘no smoke without fire theory’ by embarking on a hot streak ever since that embarrassing picture of him smoking a sheesha pipe appeared on the internet.
Admittedly we haven’t missed him all that much, but the name Paul Green ain’t been heard much in Irish circles lately, seeing as he been nursing a serious injury for the last nine months or so. Obviously seeing something in the limited midfielder that we failed to notice, Hull, Middlesbrough and Ipswich all want to sign him, and may pick him up on a free when his contract runs out in the summer.
By that time, he could have increased his bargaining position after making a sensational comeback for Ireland and playing a starring role during Euro 2012.
Now that’s just a bit too silly to even comtemplate.
