(0/5!)
I’m not a religious man, but if hell does exist then Bruce Willis’s latest cinematic offering Cop Out is playing in a loop twenty-four-seven.
Cop Out tells the story of two detectives Jimmy and Paul (Bruce Willis and Tracy Morgan) who are trying to locate a valuable stolen baseball card so they can pay for Jimmy’s daughter’s wedding. On the way, they will take on a Mexican drug lord, a parkour burglar (Sean William Scott) and punch a little kid in the dick.
He basically walked onto the set of Cop Out and took a massive cinematic dump on the screen.
Kevin Smith has made a living out of telling dick jokes. His previous endeavours (Clerks 1+2, Jay and Silent Bob, Zach and Miri) all revolved around things going in and out of all the orifices the human body has to offer. I now think it is safe to say that he has no more dick jokes left him after he basically walked onto the set of Cop Out and took a massive cinematic dump on the screen.Â
The film really is that bad, no one walks away unscathed. Willis looks like he is embarrassed to be there, Tracy Morgan overacts so badly he may have hurt himself in the process and Sean William Scott (parkour burglar) looks like someone who’s been on a three day bender and still wants more. Considering that is the A list talent you can only imagine how bad the supporting cast is.
Giggle free
No one ever said Smith was a great director (even Smith says so himself). In fact his only saving grace to date has been his ability to throw together some funny dialogue on occasion, but sadly for all involved there’s not so much as a giggle here. Ever since Clerks hit in 1993 Smith has been hit and miss with his films. Chasing Amy was great but Jay and Silent Bob Strike Back not so much.
Dogma was a welcome return to form before Zach And Miri flatlined. With Cop Out, (formerly known as A Couple of Dicks before the studio wimped out) Smith announces his semi retirement (though rumours of him making his oft put off high concept horror movie Red State still circle) and judging by the unilateral panning it has received it’ll probably be some time before we see his work again.
To call this film bad is an insult to bad films everywhere that have a certain something in them that make them barely watchable, this is to put it plainly… torture.
Andrew Kennedy
Cop Out opens on 21 May. You can read our interview with Bruce Willis here
