Vuvuzela, Staycation and Tweetup are just three of more than 2000 new words to be inducted into the Oxford English Dictionary, yet Ginormous has been left in the cold once more.
Do you have a dictionary at home? Well, be prepared to hurl that useless piece of crap through an open window because the Oxford Dictionary of English is BACK – and this time it’s brought a whole host of new words with it. Can you feel the excitement coursing through JOE’s veins?
This year more than 2,000 new words have been included into the latest edition of everyone’s favourite dictionary (sorry Collins) and we’ve been enraptured with the book since it arrived in the JOE office this week. We don’t want to give away too many spoilers, but here’s our pick of the new words included.
Vuvuzela
Oxford definition – a long plastic instrument in the shape of a trumpet, that makes a very loud noise when you blow it and is popular with football fans in South Africa.
JOE definition – an incredibly annoying horn that manages to single-handedly ruin summer football tournaments. A vuvuzela emits a large drone-like noise that causes footballers to become unable to shout verbal instructions to one another and causes armchair viewers to press ‘mute’ in unison. The vuvuzela is also invulnerable to criticism as it is an ‘African custom’, meaning any or all critics are secretly racist.
Chillax
Oxford definition – to relax and stop feeling angry or nervous about something.
JOE definition – an utterance used fondly by groovy youngsters who wish to assure their contemporaries to both ‘chill out’ and ‘relax’ simultaneously. Alternatively ‘chillaxing’ involves just a single youth, usually lying back on a sofa and idly flicking through a wealth of midday cooking programmes. The term chillaxing is typically reserved to hip teenagers but can be practised by students and the unemployed.
Tweetup
Oxford definition – a meeting arranged through Twitter.
JOE definition – an organised or impromptu gathering of people in a central location that had been organised over the social micro-blogging website Twitter. Tweetup is one of the few words in the Oxford Dictionary that cannot be mentioned without at least one party privy to the conversation rolling their eyes and leaning their face forwards into their own palm.
Cheeseball
Oxford definition – someone lacking taste and style.
JOE definition – a person who hides their insecurities by making corny or over-earnest statements to a member of the opposite sex. Cheeseballs are also a fantastic Burger King delicacy to add to your Burger King ‘King Deals’, as you can add 4 Chilli Cheese Bites to your already mouth-watering meal for the low, low price of just €1.50.
Staycation
Oxford definition – a holiday/vacation that you spend at or near your home.
JOE definition – a vacation that is spent either close to one’s home or in their own home. Since the economic downturn, many families are instead turning to ‘staycations’ rather than holiday breaks abroad. The term ‘staycation’ is essentially a shield for poor people to pretend they are embarking on a fun, modern trip rather than admitting that they don’t love their children enough to bring them to a Spanish waterpark.
Words still not included in the Oxford Dictionary: Ginormous (bigger than enormous), Gaylord (one is extremely happy and fancy-free), Embiggen (to make bigger or grow in size), Naplash (when you sleep on the bus and awake by jerking your head backwards), Boo-yah (a statement denoting one’s relief and satisfaction after beating an opponent in competition), Absofuckinglutely (to express wild agreement).
