If you’re looking to become one seriously cool dude, or if you’re just looking for a new guitar for Christmas then look no further than this advert from Craigslist…
We’ve seen hilarious sales pitches from Craigslist before, but none have been so adamant that you’ll become cooler than a polar bear’s ball sack if you buy what’s on offer.
The unnamed seller from Washington is getting rid of his Taylor 110 Dreadnought Acoustic Guitar and he’s written up quite the sales pitch to perspective buyers. You can check out the ad over on Craigslist, or you can just read what the seller has to say below:
Are you looking to become the coolest mother fucker of all time?!?!? Well look no further!! This guitar has everything!
-Strings!!!
-Frets!!!
-Tuning pegs!!!
Are you right handed?!?! Perfect!!!!!!! This guitar was hand crafted by god himself, right after he came up with pizza bagels.
Do you find yourself alone at parties with nothing to contribute? Pick up this baby and start playing ‘Sweet Child of Mine’ and the panties will practically take themselves off!
What’s the condition you ask? Only one condition, you can’t play any Taylor Swift songs with this guitar.
Scratches? Get the hell out of here! Dents? No way José. Wear and tear? This guitar will tear you a new butt-hole.
This guitar is only 1 year and 4 months old!! That’s like buying a kid whose already potty trained!!
Brand new it costs $600. But you’re paying me $450. Price is not negotiable. This ain’t Pawn Stars.
But wait! That’s not all…
This baby also comes with a soft case!!!!! Can you believe that?!?!?!?
Buy within the next 4 seconds and I’ll include a 30 second guitar lesson!!
You’ll be playing a “c chord” in no time!!
Don’t know what to buy your boyfriend for Christmas?!?!?
Nothing says “I wish you were more sensitive and would show your feelings” like this acoustic guitar!!
So buy this guitar and lets have that awkward craigslist meet up somewhere!
Hell, you can even play it before you buy it!!!
***This guitar was not actually hand crafted by god. Unless you’re one of those religious people who believes god made everything and is in everything. In that case, yes he did make this guitar***
It’s quite the pitch, we think you’ll agree, and we’re sure the offer will be taken up in no time…
