They may bore you to death but Australia deserve to be going to the World Cup. The Socceroos find themselves in one of the toughest groups of the tournament so are likely to struggle to meet the high standards laid down by their 2006 campaign, when they reached the second round only to be defeated in controversial circumstances by eventual winners Italy.
Qualification has been effortless for Australia who competed in the Asian Football Confederation for the first time. They breezed through their first round group and then went on to top their final group, conceding just one goal in eight matches.
Australia’s Dutch coach Pim Verbleek has adopted a cautious tactical approach but credit must also be given to outstanding stopper Mark Schwarzer and centre-half partners Lucas Neill and Craig Moore, all of whom combine to run a tight ship.
So far so good, but as you scan further up field, things begins to look substandard. Ex-Liverpool laughing stock Harry Kewell is hardly a match winner, while Brett Emerton and Vince Grella are bit-part players in a below average Blackburn Rovers side.
Tim Cahill is, of course, a beacon of light for the Aussies and any nation would brag about having the privilege of putting the Everton midfielder on their team sheet. The concern here is that Cahill will be pinpointed as the main source of supply and his freedom may be thwarted by the opposition.
You could not put your hand on your heart and say Australia will walk away with three points from any of their group matches against Germany, Ghana and Serbia. For the neutral this group is an intriguing one but it wouldn’t be a complete surprise if the Aussies ended up rooted to the bottom.
Star Player: Tim Cahill
A hero in Australia, Tim Cahill, scored his nation’s first ever World Cup goal four years ago and will again be the go-to guy in South Africa.
For a player of such big reputation and unquestionable ability – he has scored 19 goals in 38 imternational appearances – it is a shame that he has tasted very little success with club and country. FA Cup runners-up medals with Millwall and Everton are the only team achievements which adorn his mantelpiece.
Tim Cahill in action for The Socceroos
Manager: Pim Verbeek
The Dutchman has held 13 different positions in the last 30 years of his career and has reached the World Cup finals for the first time as head coach.
However, he has been to the last two World Cups as assistant manager of South Korea, taking the back-seat alongside countrymen Guus Hiddink and Dick Advocaat.
Verbeek was appointed Australia’s head coach in December 2007 and will get a huge pat on the back if he manages to manoeuvre the Aussies through their group and into the last 16.
Prediction: Group stage exit
Australia lack firepower and that will be their downfall. Germany and Serbia will be difficult to stop and Ghana pose as much a threat as any African side at the finals.
The Aussies only have a teaspoon of world-class talent on offer and it’ll be curtains before their final match with Ghana on 23 June.
Odds: 125/1
Irishness rating: 2/10
Okay, half the team are descended from lads we sent out for pilfering loaves of bread but we’ve little in common with the Aussies these days. It’s a different sport but we’ll never forget Australia’s dirty tactics in the International Rules series in Croke Park down through the years. Regardless of the sport, their fans have a superiority complex and let’s hope they get shown up for what they really are. Rubbish.
If they were a car they’d be…
A dual exhaust Toyota Supra. Loud, brash but not up to a whole lot and irritating in the extreme.
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