“It was like sleeping in a bleedin’ sauna.”
We like our weather mild, in this country, but not too mild. We like to see the snow falling for all of four minutes before taping hot water bottles to our extremities. We love the sun, until it hits 20 degrees, at which point we start checking out the price of flights to Greenland.
Whether it’s the funnyman in the office, or just your own mam, there’s always someone who has something to say about incredible weather whenever it hits Ireland…
The Optimist – “Fine drying. I’d the sheets done inside an hour.”
The Pessimist – “It won’t last, it never bloody does. That bloody government of ours can’t afford a few weeks of decent weather and I’ll tell you why…”
The Office Comedian – “Are you just back from lunch? Looks like you’ve been in Spain.”
The Weather Expert – “Some heat in that sun. Must be nearly 30 degrees out.”
Your mam – “Did you put sun cream on? I told your father that I wasn’t bringing him to the burn unit again but do you think he’d listen to me? He would in his arse.”
Your mam, again – “Where’s the baby oil, I need to top up my tan?”
Southsiders – “Heading to Teddy’s?”
Northsiders – “Heading to the Gravediggers?”
The Funnyman – “What’s that big yellow thing in the sky?”
The Hipster – “I’ll have a Nairobi blend Americano… ICED, please.”
The Redhead – “F*ck off, sun. You’re not welcome here.”
The Gamer – “Ah, I can’t see shit.” *Closes curtains*
The Exotic Traveller – “I thought I was in Ireland, not Saint-Tro-bleedin’-pez.”
Your Dad – “It would be criminal not to have a pint.”
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